Musical Tarot: That I Would be Good and The Star

The Power of Self-Acceptance and Inner Child Healing

After my latest post about Alanis Morissette’s song “Thank You” and The Tower, I decided to listen to the rest of her 1998 album titled Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie.  The album, which did not receive the same admiration as her 1995 album Jagged Little Pill, which produced some of Morissette’s top hit songs like “You Oughta Know”, “Ironic” and “Hand Over Feet”, is more personal and reveals a darker side of Morissette’s past, documenting her experiences with psychotherapy as well as her journey to spiritual enlightenment through her travels.

These experiences can be reflected in songs like “The Couch,” which is a raw, vulnerable retelling of Morissette’s psychoanalysis and many of the realizations she had while reflecting on her family dynamic and dysfunctional relationship with her mother. Additionally, throughout the album, Morissette reflects on her own past relational mistakes, with such songs as “Are You Still Mad” and “Unsent,” and the ways in which her early life experiences have impacted her life choices. These songs reflect a much deeper, remorseful tone to Morissette’s work, which shows her complexity as an artist and reflects the intricacy of the human condition.

Perhaps that is why Morissette’s second album did not reach the success and status of her first album. Morissette’s first album is an example of female rage at its finest, and while it is valid and vital to recognize the power and creative compacity of female rage, (Even artists today, like Taylor Swift, have produced great musical works of art by embracing the power of this phenomenon (See Female Rage: The Musical)), songs about female pain and heartache traditionally have not received as much air-time.

However, after the rage has subsided, we are often left with feelings of regret, remorse, pain, grief, and loss as we recognize how the anger we have held onto for the injustices done to us has also led us to hurt others.

In a sense, if we follow the journey of the fool in the Tarot, Rage is our Devil or shadow self, which can be reflected in Morissette’s hit “You Oughta Know,” where she openly expresses her rage at her ex-boyfriend and desire for revenge. Thus, what follows suit is the Tower, which, as previously discussed, reflects her song “Thank U,” where she comes to terms with the fact that her protective walls must come down so that she can begin to heal. This ultimately leads to the Star card, which is reflected in her song “That I Would Be Good.”

Pamela Coleman-Smith’s original images of the Devil and Tower from the Rider-Waite Tarot Deck.

The Song

Listen here to follow along:

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The song starts out with a gentle melody and has no choruses, only verses that Morissette sings. Her first verse goes:

That I would be good even if I did nothing
That I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
That I would be good if I got and stayed sick
That I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

Here, Morissette is asking herself and the listener if she “would be good” if she did not meet certain criteria or qualifications. It is clear from Morissette’s album that part of the impact of her family trauma was that it left her with a desire to seek approval from others, namely her mother (Such as the example of the song “Your Congratulations”). This external frame of reference for validation often leads to perfectionism, disordered eating, body image, workaholism, addictions, people pleasing, and what can be negatively referred to as “attention-seeking behaviors.” While I dislike this term because it can often be seen as a form of shaming, what is important to remember is that these behaviors do not exist in a vacuum.

We live in a society obsessed with status, looks, and accomplishments. We are taught at a young age to be “essential” to “prove” ourselves to our parents, to our teachers, to society, and to the world. We also learn at a young age that if we are not productive or “doing anything” of “value,” then we are not “good enough.” This concept can be reflected in the 2016 movie version of the book “The Little Prince” directed by Mark Osborne. Osborne’s adaptation of the book updates Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s 1943 Children’s Book for a modern retelling, which can be seen as a commentary on our society.

The little girl and polit from The Little Prince movie (2016).

In the movie, a young girl is encouraged by her mother to follow a rigorous daily schedule where she exercises, reads, and trains to be accepted into a prestigious academy for gifted students. This Academy is meant to launch her life moving forward, and at this academy, she will learn to be “essential,” I.e. worthy. Thus, it demonstrates how even well-meaning parents, with their overbooking of their children’s schedules, college prep, and emphasis on school work, can promote this external need for validation from others. Throughout the movie, the little girl befriends her quacky and eccentric neighbor, who tells her stories about his travels as an aviator and how he came across the Little Prince. From a psychological perspective, the Little Prince is really a pilot, all grown up, and thus, he can be seen as a reflection of the pilot’s inner child, which he helps the little girl to embrace in herself. Thus, she realizes that play, quality time with others, and just being herself is just as important, if not more, than just being “essential.”

The polit (as an adult) and the Little Prince from The Little Prince movie (2016).

This point is stressed even further in Morissette’s next verse:

That I would be fine even if I went bankrupt
That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
That I would be great if I was no longer queen
That I would be grand if I was not all knowing

Again, here, we see how Morissette reconciles her more human aspects with having to navigate the external standards of the outside world. She is asking if she will still be good or fine if she does not fit our society’s obsession with youth and beauty for women and if she doesn’t have a job, which would make her a valuable asset to society. Furthermore, she uses the words great and grand in this section to refer to the pressures she feels to uphold a sort of pedestal-like perception of herself as “queen” and “all-knowing.” Therefore, she demonstrates the pressures we internalize to be something other than ourselves or to hide our own humility and humanness from others.

In the next verse, she continues:

That I would be loved even when I numb myself
That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
That I would be loved even when I was fuming
That I would be good even if I was clingy

Here, we see Morissette’s fears and humanity come out. She is acknowledging her own shadow parts, the parts we all have that like to numb ourselves through food, video games, procrastination, alcohol, sex, drugs, or other means of keeping us distracted so we don’t have to look at the pain we hold inside. She also asks the listener if her more devil-ish or shadow aspects come out, would she still be acceptable?  If she shows her vulnerability, that she is clingy, or angry, or that (like all of us) she doesn’t have her shit together 100% of the time, would she, and could she still be worthy of love? For those of us who grew up in homes where our vulnerability was used against us, it doesn’t feel like our inner devils or shadow parts are acceptable.

In the last verse she sings:

That I would be good even if I lost sanity
That I would be good whether with or without you

Here, Morissette is acknowledging how overwhelmed she feels now that her Tower has fallen. Now that she has unpacked her family trauma and reflected on her past. This process can feel like “losing our sanity” because it is an ego death or a metaphorical death of everything we once understood about the world and our place in it. In her last line, “that I would be good whether with or without you”, we see Morissette come to a place of acceptance. That she can accept herself without needing the approval of another person, job, career, relationship, etc. This is what the Star card teaches us.

The Star card Illustrated by Pamela Colman-Smith.

In one of the best-known images of the Star card, created by Pamela Colman-Smith for the Rider-Waite/Smith Tarot deck, we see a woman naked on the Star card, which represents the querent (or the person having the tarot reading done to them) accepting their own humanity through their awareness of their nakedness now that the Tower has fallen. In other words, the figure in the Star card represents ourselves, our inner child, or beyond that, the core, spiritual, transcendent part of us that exists without the confines of the world. The figure is pouring water back into the pool of her subconscious and the outer world. Thus, this card symbolizes that as we come to accept our own humanity and uniqueness (pouring into the water), we can accept others' humanity and uniqueness. That as we accept all parts of ourselves in our nakedness (the light and dark/devil-ish parts) we can heal, thus healing the world and others as well. Showing how truly interconnected we all are.

Colman-Smith’s image of the Star Card also contains the Star of Venus (The eight-pointed star, which is typically associated with enlightenment, purity, transcendence, and hope in many major religions or faith-based systems.) Additionally, this Star, is surrounded by 7 smaller stars. Some Tarot experts have theorized that these 7 stars can be linked to the 7 chakras associated with the practice of Tantrism and Kundalini but are also used in Reiki and other forms of energy healing. Thus, when we are able to align our chakras and accept our own humanity outside of the structures and conditions that bind us, we are able to transcend and transform.

The Star card can be associated with many things for a querent. It can represent the need to have hope in the darkness or a desire to find a sense of purpose or direction in the world. It may indicate that one needs to do some inner child or inner teenager healing with themselves, which is what the Star in The Little Prince story represents. In the book and movie, the Little Prince lives on a star called asteroid B-612, which is his home. However, he decides one day to leave his desire to travel the world, only to realize that eventually, he would like to go back to return to his home and former self. In the book, the pilot (the Little Prince’s older self) is who helps him return to his star, but in the movie, it is the little girl who, after finding the Little Prince working as a janitor for a planet whose ruler has taken all the stars in the universe to use them for his own selfish power, helps him realize who he is and thus they are able to free the stars, eventually returning the Little Prince to his own as well.  Thus, as we, like the Little Prince or the fool in the tarot, journey back to our Star, we come to accept and love our authentic self. Consequently, the zodiac sign that is associated with the Star is Aquarius, which is all about healing humanity and embracing one’s uniqueness. Thus demonstrating the importance of embracing our own “quirks” within.

With that, my reflection on the Star card and That I Would Be Good comes to a close. If you liked this post, feel free to click the like like/share button or comment below! Also, feel free to comment on which songs give you Star card vibes or which are your go-to songs to listen to when you need to do some inner child/inner teenager work!

With love and light,

Michelle (AKA: AKA: Dark Fairy Godmother)

Resources:

Rider-Waite/Smith Tarot - https://www.usgamesinc.com/rider-waite-tarot-card-deck.html

Lyrics and Information about Morissette Taken from Genuis Music through Spotify.